Julia Grant was married to Ulysses S. Grant, who served as the president of the United States from 1869 to 1877. Varina Davis was married to Jefferson Davis, the first and only president of the Confederate States of America during the Civil War. The two were extremely similar, both born in 1826 and following in their husbands’ lofty aspirations, but they lived in two completely different worlds.
Julia’s husband was the commander of the Union army, while Varina’s husband led the opposing side. Julia had a strong, solid marriage with her husband, and thoroughly enjoyed being the First Lady. She spoke highly of her husband and maintained friendships with many presidents’ wives. The Davises, on the other hand, had an unfulfilling marriage and very different opinions on his presidency of the Confederacy.
It wasn’t until several years after both husbands had died that the two women finally met in 1893. Despite coming from opposite sides, they became great friends. They traveled together, dined together, and had their daughters spend a great deal of time together. Both had caused some controversy during their husbands’ time in office—Varina, for coming off as rude, and Julia for being thought of as overly influential in her husband’s decisions. This was simply another aspect of life for them to bond over. Toward the end of their lives, Julia Grant and Varina Davis even had small cottages on nearby lots and saw each other on a daily basis. It was a friendship that surprised historians for decades.